Dreambuoy

Funny One Liners...

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 07:10:26 GMT

1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

3. If I save time, when do I get it back?

4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.. there's a knob called brightness, but it doesn't work.

11. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left! .

14. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.

15. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Toughest word Scrabble

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 09:01:00 GMT

Find out the the alernate word(s) by rearranging the original word.
e. g DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters, you get DIRTY ROOM

Try for the following now.
1. PRESBYTERIAN:
2. ASTRONOMER:
3. DESPERATION:
4. THE EYES
5. GEORGE BUSH:
6. THE MORSE CODE:
7. SLOT MACHINES:
8 ANIMOSITY:
9 ELECTION RESULTS:
10 SNOOZE ALARMS:
11 A DECIMAL POINT:
12 THE EARTHQUAKES:
13 ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
14 MOTHER-IN-LAW:

Best of luck !!

Notice

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 05:55:29 GMT

Ha ! Very clever

Gabbar Aur Sambha

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 12:22:58 GMT

Gabbar: Kitne Aadmi they.

Sambha: Sardar Do,

Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahi aati. Do kitne hotey hain?

Sambha: Sardar Do Ek ke baad aata hai.

Gabbar: Aur Do ke pehle?

Sambha: Do ke pehle Ek aata hai.

Gabbar: To beech mein kaun aata hai?

Sambha: Beech mein koi nahi aata.

Gabbar: To fir Dono ek saath kyon nahi atey?

Sambha: Do Ek ke baad hi aa sakta hai, kyonki Do ek se bada hai.

Gabbar: Do ek se bada hai? Kitna bada hai?

Sambha: Do ek se Ek bada hai?

Gabbar: Agar Do ek se ek bada hai to ek ek se kitna bada hai?

Sambha: Sardar, Maine tumhara namak khaya hai, mujhe goli mar do.

TWO great TICKETs

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 07:16:22 GMT

A man had two great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the best game of World Cup, and not use it?"

He says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else... a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
................
The man shakes his head... "No. They're all at her funeral."

Ground reality of today

Sat, 27 May 2006 05:30:49 GMT

Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year.
Bush - Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh - Total 100.
25 - OBC
25 - SC
20 - ST
5 - Handicapped
5 - Sports Persons
5 - Terrorism Affected
5 - descendents of freedom fighters -4th generation
9 - Politicians And if possible
1 - Astronaut..............!!!!!

Award winner Ad of Fevicol

Fri, 19 May 2006 11:50:52 GMT

Confusing English???

Thu, 18 May 2006 05:39:04 GMT

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

8. Why is it called building when it is already built?

9. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

10. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Humans ???

13. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???

Get Back to WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"English" of non English medium teachers

Tue, 16 May 2006 10:49:35 GMT

Here are some English Statements....

Inside the Class:

1. Both of u three, get out of the class.
2. (Facing the Board) Don't talk in front of my back.
3. Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
4. Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
5. Shhh... quiet, boys... the principal just passed away in the corridor.
6. You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class...)
7. Close the doors of the windows please... I have *winter* in my nose today.
8. Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.
9. Take 5cm wire of any length.
10. shhh... quite, the principal is rotating in the school.
11. Draw a circle of any shape

.. About his family:
1. have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

..at the ground
1. all of u, stand in a straight circle.
2. there is no wind in the ball.

a boy, angrily:
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

...giving a punishment
You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO... (?)

Raja Ravi Verma's Paintings

Mon, 15 May 2006 11:28:28 GMT

Raja Ravi Varma (1848-1906) was an Indian painter who

achieved recognition for his depiction of scenes from the

epics of the Mahabharata and Ramayana

Expectation
Portrait of a North Indian Lady

The Maharashtrian Lady
Traditionally dressed Lady of Maharashtra, India

The Milkmaid
A North Indian village girl carrying milk

Sakunthala
Sakunthala looking back at Dushyanthan acting as injured with a thorn

Perspective

Tue, 09 May 2006 04:26:21 GMT

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:
"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.
We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.
We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.
We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.
We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

Say Cheeese...

Mon, 08 May 2006 15:39:48 GMT

How Indians pose for photos....

Punishment

Fri, 05 May 2006 05:39:23 GMT

Police punishing a man who tried to violate the curfew in Vadodara on Thursday, May 4, 2006

Interesting and very sad !!!

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 07:03:36 GMT

Club cricketer hits 42 runs in an over

An unknown club cricketer on Tuesday surpassed cricketing legend Sir Gary Sobers' feat of scoring the highest number of runs in an over.

Jonathan Hughes, a Yorkshire club cricketer scored 42, hitting six sixes, a four and a two off medium-pacer Craig Hobson while playing for North Leeds against Hall Park in a Cup match.

The feat was possible because Hobson sent down two no balls in the over, a BBC report said, adding Hughes went on to make 126 not out.

Former West Indies captain Sobers, universally acclaimed as the greatest all-round cricketer the game has ever seen, scored 36 off an over for Nottinghamshire against Glamorgan in 1968.

His record was later equalled by Ravi Shastri, who struck six sixes while batting for Mumbai 21 years ago.

Hughes' record, however, would not find its way to the record books, as there are no official records for club cricket.

rediff.com

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Thu, 20 Apr 2006 06:11:13 GMT

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